


From: sassychick, To: lonewolf

by shirasade



Category: X-Men (Movies)
Genre: Early Work, F/M, Love Letters, Secret Admirer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-07-16
Updated: 2002-07-16
Packaged: 2017-10-26 06:15:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/279648
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shirasade/pseuds/shirasade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With you, it's different - perhaps because the physical (which makes me very nervous as you know) is completely unimportant. All we do is talk - well, write... and I like it! But it also shows me what's missing in my relationship with him - we hang out but we hardly ever talk about important stuff. And I don't know if it's because that's just the way he is or if it's because he doesn't want to talk with *me*.</p>
            </blockquote>





	From: sassychick, To: lonewolf

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, English is not my first language, so please excuse my mistakes! Second of all, I kind of invent this fic as I go along and just hope it won't turn out too badly! I'm writing it in school, at work and wherever the bunny catches me with time on my hands, one email at a time...

From: sassychick  
To: lonewolf  
Subject: How was it?

How did your business trip go? Not that I want to pry in your private affairs or something - but you said something about there being some risk involved when we chatted last week. I know we agreed that we wanted to keep our 'real lives' out of this - but I couldn't help but worry a bit...  
I always worry - sometimes my friends at school do some pretty risky things and I'm always afraid that one day one of them won't come back. That one guy specifically... He always takes too many risks, just to prove that he can. Men!  
Sorry, don't mind my rants - but this guy can drive me absolutely crazy! I know you're not one of these macho guys, so don't take it personally...

I remember you asking me if I've ever been in love - and no, it's not too private! After all we've been chatting for some time now...  
Well, to answer your question - I'm not sure if what I feel for him (yes, the annoying macho guy!) is love. People keep telling me that I only have a crush on him - like two thirds of the girls I know. I guess it's possible that they're right - perhaps it's only physical. I've always thought that being able to talk about everything is as much part of a relationship as kissing and stuff - and he's just not much of a talker...

With you, it's different - perhaps because the physical (which makes me very nervous as you know) is completely unimportant. All we do is talk - well, write... and I like it! But it also shows me what's missing in my relationship with him - we hang out but we hardly ever talk about important stuff. And I don't know if it's because that's just the way he is or if it's because he doesn't want to talk with *me*.

Oh well, there's no way for me to find out which one it is - and I'm sorry if I've bored you out of your skull! This was supposed to be only a quick email, but once again I've been rambling...

Take care!

 

*******

 

From: lonewolf  
To: sassychick  
Subject: Re: How was it?

Hey there!

 _> How did your business trip go? Not that I want to pry in your private affairs or something -but you said something about there being some risk involved when we chatted last week. I know we agreed that we wanted to keep our 'real lives' out of this - but I couldn't help but worry a bit..._  
As I've said before - you don't have to worry about me. I'm pretty experienced in my line of work, I know exactly what I can do... But it's a good feeling to know you care, so don't feel as if you're intruding or something.

 _> Sorry, don't mind my rants - but this guy can drive me absolutely crazy! I know you're not one of these macho guys, so don't take it personally..._  
Rant away, girl! Sometimes one needs to vent - and telling someone is better than wrecking your room, believe me! *g*  
Well, about me not being a macho - there are probably quite a few people out there who think that I'm stuck in stone age. But just because a guy is no pansy doesn't mean he's stupid or something... (I'm thinking of one guy who works with me here - if you get right down to it he's my boss, but I'll be d**ned if I let myself be ordered around by someone who irons his underwear! - See, now *I'm* venting, hope you don't mind...)

 _> I remember you asking me if I've ever been in love - and no, it's not too private! After all we've been chatting for some time now..._  
That's true - but privacy is still important. But just so you know - you can ask me anything you want, too!

 _> Well, to answer your question - I'm not sure if what I feel for him (yes, the annoying macho guy!) is love. People keep telling me that I only have a crush on him - like two thirds of the girls I know. I guess it's possible that they're right - perhaps it's only physical. I've always thought that being able to talk about everything is as much part of a relationship as kissing and stuff - and he's just not much of a talker..._  
Most people say that if you're not sure than it's not the real thing... I'm not sure about that - sometimes it's hard to tell whether what you feel is friendship or more - but normally that kind of guy is not worth much. Believe me, many men think having a good time is enough. I used to think that myself - but lately I've begun to doubt that that's all there is to it...

 _> With you, it's different - perhaps because the physical (which makes me very nervous as you know) is completely unimportant. All we do is talk - well, write... and I like it! But it also shows me what's missing in my relationship with him - we hang out but we hardly ever talk about important stuff. And I don't know if it's because that's just the way he is or if it's because he doesn't want to talk with *me*. _  
I feel different with you, too - it's much easier to tell what you're thinking when it's not face to face! I remember you telling me about having 'skin issues' - but you didn't want to explain and I won't pry if you don't wanna talk about it. But just so you know - if you really love someone the physical really is only a small part. I mean, hugging and kissing and stuff is fun - but it's nothing more than sports if you don't feel love... (Now I feel like one of these love doctors! *g*)

Keep me posted about macho guy (I've already begun to dislike him, sorry!) and what else you feel like 'rambling' about...

 

*******  
From: sassychick  
To: lonewolf  
Subject: Dear Dr Wolf... ;)

Dear Dr Wolf

Your advice for my love problems was really very good, so thank you very much! Have you had lots of experience in that department? Because you did an excellent job! lol

Serious, your email cheered me up - it's great to get a guy's perspective on everything! I'm really glad that you started chatting with me on the Alaska forum - as I've told you before, your nick intrigued me but I don't think I'd have had the guts to invite you to a private room!  
It's kinda funny how we liked our respective nicknames - normally people think my Southern accent means that I'm some kind of simpleton. (I always tell myself that they're just jealous because *they* can't speak like that! *g*)

Anyway, I've done some thinking about what you said - you know, about my 'skin issues' and macho guy... The skin thing is something I'll probably have to live with for the rest of my life, the doctors I'm seeing because of it aren't making much headway. But what you said was really really wonderful - you're an extraordinary guy, just so you know! (I hope you're aware that I'm blushing right now - I don't normally walk around making compliments to guys! *g*  
And about the macho guy - he's pretty busy at the moment so I don't get to hang out with him very often. And when we do hang out, watch hockey or something (I'm a big fan!) it's more the brother-sister kind of thing. I tell you - there's nothing worse than being treated like a child by the guy you dream of!

Oh well, to more interesting subjects! Now that I've told you about *my* love life I'd like to know about yours - that's only fair after all! And you've made me wonder, with all the good advice and specially with this:  
 _> Believe me, many men think having a good time is enough. I used to think that myself - but lately I've begun to doubt that that's all there is to it... _  
Of course now I want to know exactly why you're having a change of heart! Hope you don't mind my curiosity - but I'm a girl and us girls are supposed to be curious, aren't we? *g*

Okay, that's enough for now - have to go, me and a friend are going to a concert! (Classical - Mussorgsky's Pictures at an Exhibition, absolutely beautiful!)

Take care!

 

*******  
From: lonewolf  
To: sassychick  
Subject: Re: Dear Dr Wolf... ;)

Hey, there - how you doing?  
Sorry that I didn't answer sooner - I've been so busy lately, I was hardly at home. But now things have calmed down a bit so I finally got to answer your email.

 _> Your advice for my love problems was really very good, so thank you very much! Have you had lots of experience in that department? Because you did an excellent job! lol_  
So I'm your resident love doctor? Funny, *that's* certainly a first for me - I'm not really famous for lasting relationships and stuff... But I'm glad I could be of some help, hun.

 _> Serious, your email cheered me up - it's great to get a guy's perspective on everything! I'm really glad that you started chatting with me on the Alaska forum - as I've told you before, your nick intrigued me but I don't think I'd have had the guts to invite you to a private room!_  
Oh, I'm pretty sure we'd have ended up talking anyway - it's not as if there were a lot of people to choose from... Or were you interested in 'keepmewarm' and 'nakedfun' (or whatever those sickos called themselves) that were trying to get you to 'cyber' with them? I just *had* to rescue you, hadn't I? *g*

 _> It's kinda funny how we liked our respective nicknames - normally people think my Southern accent means that I'm some kind of simpleton. (I always tell myself that they're just jealous because *they* can't speak like that! *g*)_  
Well, I for my part love the Southern twang... For some special reasons it makes me feel at home, although I'm not from the South myself. And I sure as hell don't think you're a simpleton - you make too many smart remarks for that! *g*

 _> The skin thing is something I'll probably have to live with for the rest of my life, the doctors I'm seeing because of it aren't making much headway. But what you said was really really wonderful - you're an extraordinary guy, just so you know! (I hope you're aware that I'm blushing right now - I don't normally walk around making compliments to guys! *g*_  
I sure hope not! jk - but it's kind of nice to know that you think so much of me. Because, well - you know, I think much of you, too. (And I'm *not* blushing, because guys don't blush!)  
Serious, I really hope that you'll be healed one day and will be able to lead a normal life - and if not I'm sure you'll make the best of it!

 _> And about the macho guy - he's pretty busy at the moment so I don't get to hang out with him very often. And when we do hang out, watch hockey or something (I'm a big fan!) it's more the brother-sister kind of thing. I tell you - there's nothing worse than being treated like a child by the guy you dream of! _  
I can imagine - but sometimes it's hard to know how to treat women. I mean if you don't want it to come across as a come-on, even if that's what you'd like to do when you come right down to it... Sometimes it's just easier to treat a girl you like like a bud (or a child...) in order to avoid all kinds of problems.  
Hey, I didn't know that you like hockey! What's your favorite team? I enjoy watching a good game myself - I don't really care what team, as long as it's Canadian! (I'm from Canada as you might remember and I enjoy seeing my people beat the US teams to pulp! *g*)

 _> Oh well, to more interesting subjects! Now that I've told you about *my* love life I'd like to know about yours - that's only fair after all! And you've made me wonder, with all the good advice and specially with this:  
>>Believe me, many men think having a good time is enough. I used to think that myself - but lately I've begun to doubt that that's all there is to it... _  
Yeah, I guess, it's only fair... Actually what I wrote earlier about treating someone you like like a bud... That's me, pretty much. Well, it wasn't always that way - for a long time I just, you know, enjoyed female company at every chance I had. But this girl... There are a lot of reasons why I shouldn't be having those kinds of feelings for her. I'm trying very hard to convince myself that casual is what I want but it's not really working... That's one of the reasons why I work a lot lately, so I don't have to be around her so much.  
Hope that satisfies your curiosity - if not, ask away...

 _> Okay, that's enough for now - have to go, me and a friend are going to a concert! (Classical - Mussorgsky's Pictures at an Exhibition, absolutely beautiful!)_  
Yes, that's a wonderful piece! Was it the piano or the orchestra version? I myself prefer the piano version - a good piece of piano music is something I enjoy listening to sometimes at night...

Hope to hear from you soon!

*******  
From: sassychick  
To: lonewolf  
Subject: In the middle of the night...

For some reason I can't sleep so I've decided to write to you. I know it's my turn anyway (sorry for taking so long!), but I had to write loads of papers for college applications and stuff. I'm not sure yet if I really do want to go to college and where, but since all my friends are going I pretend to be excited about the whole thing as well... I don't think anyone has noticed that it's fake.

 _> Oh, I'm pretty sure we'd have ended up talking anyway - it's not as if there were a lot of people to choose from... Or were you interested in 'keepmewarm' and 'nakedfun' (or whatever those sickos called themselves) that were trying to get you to 'cyber' with them? I just *had* to rescue you, hadn't I? *g*_  
*You* rescue *me*? I got the distinct feeling that 'hotbabe's' conversation was starting to make you uncomfortable so you decided to use me as a cover up and hide in the private chat room! lol  
But we were sure lucky to find each other - I wouldn't have thought that there were that many wackos in the Alaska forum!

 _> Serious, I really hope that you'll be healed one day and will be able to lead a normal life - and if not I'm sure you'll make the best of it!_  
I'm trying to! And on some days I think there might be hope, but on others I feel awful and nothing works... Oh well, that's life, I suppose. And luckily enough I have friends who stand by me! (As this terribly nice guy I met online... *hint* lol)

 _> Hey, I didn't know that you like hockey! What's your favorite team? I enjoy watching a good game myself - I don't really care what team, as long as it's Canadian! (I'm from Canada as you might remember and I enjoy seeing my people beat the US teams to pulp! *g*)_  
You're not the only one I know cheering whenever American blood flows. What is it with you Canadians? ;)

 _> Yeah, I guess, it's only fair... Actually what I wrote earlier about treating someone you like like a bud... That's me, pretty much. Well, it wasn't always that way - for a long time I just, you know, enjoyed female company at every chance I had. But this girl... There are a lot of reasons why I shouldn't be having those kinds of feelings for her. I'm trying very hard to convince myself that casual is what I want but it's not really working... That's one of the reasons why I work a lot lately, so I don't have to be around her so much.  
Hope that satisfies your curiosity - if not, ask away..._  
That's a very dangerous thing to say, my friend! *g*  
Seriously, I'm flattered that you're so open - and I think your girl is one lucky lady! I'll give you some advice (since even if my experience *is* limited I've had some in *that* area, I think most women have...) - in things like that listen to your heart, not your head! (Now *I* sound like some love doctor! lol) Your head just piles reasons why not to do something in front of you until you don't see what's important anymore - that this girl is special and deserves to know the truth! So, go and tell her - because even *I* can see that you like her a lot!

Okay, enough of advice from an oh-so-wise girl who has read too much teen mags - don't want you to laugh your ass off! And to someone who listens to classical piano music in the evening I must seem like a kid... The concert was absolutely wonderful, btw - it *was* the piano version and I loved how different each 'picture' sounded!

Take care!

*******  
From: lonewolf  
To: sassychick  
Subject: Re: In the middle of the night...

It's actually past midnight now - I like to write my emails at night, when I know that I won't be disturbed. This is something I don't really feel like sharing - specially because some people like to think that I can hardly write my own name...

 _> For some reason I can't sleep so I've decided to write to you. I know it's my turn anyway (sorry for taking so long!), but I had to write loads of papers for college applications and stuff. I'm not sure yet if I really do want to go to college and where, but since all my friends are going I pretend to be excited about the whole thing as well... I don't think anyone has noticed that it's fake._  
Everyone seems busy with that stuff at the moment - only natural I guess at this time of year. But sometimes I'd like to run to my bike and just get away after hearing yet another discussion about which college would be best! You really shouldn't have to pretend around your friends - if they're really your friends they should want you to do what makes you happy, not just go along with them... It's not my place to tell you what to do, but you should consider telling them that you still need some time to think about your future. What would you like to do? Any ideas?

 _> *You* rescue *me*? I got the distinct feeling that 'hotbabe's' conversation was starting to make you uncomfortable so you decided to use me as a cover up and hide in the private chat room! lol  
But we were sure lucky to find each other - I wouldn't have thought that there were that many wackos in the Alaska forum! _  
You're sure right about all the nutcases in the forum - but let me tell you that no woman has ever managed to make me uncomfortable! I just was not interested, that's all!

 _> You're not the only one I know cheering whenever American blood flows. What is it with you Canadians? ;)_  
So I'm not the only Canadian you know? We're just a little more patriotic when in the US - wouldn't you be in a country that calls itself 'America' as if there were no other countries on that continent? And even without that it's just a lot of fun to sit in front of the TV with someone you like (the girl I was telling you about) and have drink Molson's! Have I told you already that that's the only decent beer on this planet? *g*

 _> Seriously, I'm flattered that you're so open - and I think your girl is one lucky lady! I'll give you some advice (since even if my experience *is* limited I've had some in *that* area, I think most women have...) - in things like that listen to your heart, not your head! (Now *I* sound like some love doctor! lol) Your head just piles reasons why not to do something in front of you until you don't see what's important anymore - that this girl is special and deserves to know the truth! So, go and tell her - because even *I* can see that you like her a lot!_  
Frighteningly enough what you say made an awful lot of sense to me... So, although I had no idea what would happen I did what you suggested - I told her the truth tonight. It's not like me to avoid conflict anyway.  
She really reacted strangely - her eyes went wide and she stared at me. Then she asked me if this had been my idea and I told her about you - I hope you don't mind!  
Well, just when I wanted to ask her what was the matter someone yellow and annoying interrupted. (One of her friends has this obsession with anything yellow - don't ask me why!) I haven't spoken to her since - I think she's up to something, I can normally read people quite well and she smelled of excitement and anticipation when I saw her last... I hope I didn't mess the first real friendship I had in my life up! I'll let you know, okay?

 _> Okay, enough of advice from an oh-so-wise girl who has read too much teen mags - don't want you to laugh your ass off! And to someone who listens to classical piano music in the evening I must seem like a kid... The concert was absolutely wonderful, btw - it *was* the piano version and I loved how different each 'picture' sounded!_  
Stop dissing yourself - I still think your advice was good! And if you knew my girl's age you wouldn't think you're too young for me... Except for you no one even knows that I like classical music - that's something I like to keep private, I really don't need any jokes about pansy music from our resident king of wuss!

Hope to hear from you soon! Good night...

*******  
From: sassychick  
To: lonewolf  
Subject: The end?

Hey stranger!

I'm sorry if this email is short - but I'm quite busy at the moment, my love life has suddenly become *very* interesting! I won't bore you with details, but 'macho guy' has suddenly appeared to be a lot less macho than I always thought...

This is the last email like this - I hope your girl will take my place now. You should be able to be as open and honest with her as you were with me!  
I'm so happy that you went and told her about your feelings - and I promise you you won't be confused much longer! I'm pretty sure she's just planning the perfect way to tell you that you haven't made a fool of yourself!

Matter of fact - just turn around now and see who stands there....

I love you,  
Marie

*******

From: lonewolf  
To: sassychick  
Subject: My darlin'...

Hey kid!  
Now don't get mad at me, darlin' - by now you should know that I don't see you as a kid anymore...

I know that I don't have to write my feelings down anymore, that I could just tell you - but you know me, you know I'm no good with talks. Writing is easier - and look where it brought us! I don't think without your, ehm 'sassychick's' advice I would have told you - and you were probably about ready to give up on me and move on...

I'm just glad you didn't! When I read your last email I didn't know what to think - but then I turned around and saw you standing there, smiling at me with tears in your beautiful eyes... You *are* beautiful - and I'm not only saying this because you have me wrapped around your little finger... ;)

Just thought I'd put this down in writing so you can open this email every time I'm away from home and you need some reassurance of my feelings. I love you, darlin' - I really do!

And something else: I promise you, black on white, that I'll take you to Alaska soon! There you'll have time to figure out what you want to do now that high school is over - and once you've actually been there, hopefully you won't have any reason to visit the Alaska forum and chat with strangers...

Love you so much, my darlin'!  
Logan

*******


End file.
